Amusings

If I were to identify the most significant and formative time periods of my life thus far, I would have to put studying abroad at the top of that list.  

I made the decision to study abroad completely by happenstance and on a whim.  If I were to dig deeper into the decision, I would have to chalk it up as an act of divine synchronicity.

To understand the significance of the decision to study abroad, you first have to understand where I was when I made the decision.  I’m somewhat referring to where I was geographically… But, more so, where I was at mentally.

I was a third year undergraduate student at a state university located in a rural area.  To fully appreciate how dedicated of a student I was during undergrad, you need to be aware of a couple of things.  Firstly, my mom filled out the college application.  Secondly, my parents said that I needed to maintain a 3.0 grade point average in order for them to foot the bill.  And lastly, I was a psychology major because it did not require two years of a foreign language.  

But, in order to understand those three points, you need to understand a few other things.  

I was seventeen when I started college… I didn’t turn eighteen until the end of my first semester.  I was somewhat of a rebellious and feral youth… I grew my hair as long as I could while under my parents’ roof… And grew it down my back when I left their house.  When I came home for Thanksgiving break my freshman year, my parents were dismayed to see that I now had an earring.  Imagine what the conversation was like a couple of years later when I told them about the nipple ring.  Eventually I ended up with ten steel-adorned holes in my body.  

I was absolutely the coolest band nerd in high school… But, my real passion was rock music.  Upon graduating from high school, I sold my trumpet and bought a guitar amplifier… An enormously heavy tube amp sporting two 12” speakers that was house-shakingly loud.  I hauled that amplifier with me almost as a necessary personal effect to every domestic place that I lived over the next twenty years.

The university environment that I encountered was far from ideal for the societal misfit that I desired to be.  In high school, I had several peer groups.  But the group that I spent the most time with… The people who were my closest friends… Were my bandmates.

Band kids… Are a creative bunch of weirdos… My kind of people.  I thrived in that ‘we’re all weird here’ dynamic.  And to everyone who never entered the doors to the bandroom, what happened behind those doors was largely a mystery.  Many people look back on their high school years as a difficult time where they struggled to find themselves and fit in.  I didn’t have that problem… I had a fantastic group of weirdos like myself.  

The university environment that I encountered was just like high school… A high school with no bandroom.  Don’t worry… I found a group… But no one played an instrument.  My new college friends had an independent and feral spirit… But the creativity component was lacking.

*** 

During my junior year of undergrad, I lived in a house with three other people just off the edge of campus… One was a friend of mine that I knew from living in the dorms on campus… And the other two roommates were girls that he grew up with in his hometown.

My new roommates were seriously lacking the weirdness gene… Which was okay for a while.  I was excited to be out of the dorms and living off campus… The idea seemed more adult-like… More independent.

But… Eventually… The lack of weirdness… And, what appeared to be a continuation of keeping up high school appearances and cliquiness… Brought out my loneliness and isolation.  Yes, I had three roommates.  But, not one of them was a weirdo.  

I indeed felt lonely for a time.  No matter where you are geographically, emotionally, or personally, everyone has some desire to fit in.  And where I was did not fit in with me.

I remember one overcast late fall day when I took a walk.  I was feeling lonely… And the cure was not going to be found at home… So, I left.  I needed to clear my head.  So, I took a long walk along a river that was not far from our house.  The weather was chilly… Enough to see your breath in the humid air.  I don’t remember if it had just rained… Or if it rained while I was on the walk… But, it was a cold, damp, lonely, and long walk.  I needed a change.

***

The house that we lived in was about ten blocks from campus… And I always walked to class.  And, it was on one of these walks to class the following spring that dramatically changed my life direction.  I was standing at an intersection on campus… Waiting for the traffic light to change… When I saw a flier on a telephone pole.  

‘Would you like to study abroad?’

  Geez… I don’t know… It sounds exciting… Much more exciting than anything happening in my current geographical area.  I, without a second thought, walked over to the telephone pole and ripped down the flier.  [My apologies to the next guy needing a life change while waiting for the traffic light.]

***

I went to an informational meeting at the office of international studies.  And, it didn’t take long during that meeting for me to realize that this is exactly what I wanted to do for the next year of my life.

During the meeting, it was explained that my home university had partnerships with several universities around the world… Where should I go?  But… Remember that part about dodging two years of a foreign language?  That was a determining factor.  I decided on England.